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Let's Get Coffee: When a Woman Cuts Her Hair

March 3, 2018


It's an old stereotype, that a woman who changes her hair is a woman who's about to change her life, but it's one that I think rings true for so many women. 


Break ups, big moves, mental transitions...personally, I have always felt an inexplicable need to chop my hair off after a change occurs. I think that a woman's hair can do so much to change her appearance, so when she changes it, it is almost like a change of identity. It is designed to make her feel brand new.


I've talked about my abusive ex boyfriend on here before, and I am going to talk about him one more time, before I (hopefully) put that negative energy into a box, lock it, and throw away the key forever. 


He was quite controlling. He often bothered me to grow my hair out, telling me it looked prettier and more feminine when it was long. He explicitly told me once that he hated bangs, and thought that they looked terrible on everyone, including me. He never held back his distaste. 


This isn't my first time chopping my hair. I usually do a big shoulder length chop a few times a year, but I haven't had bangs since being freshly 18 years old. I had bangs when I met him- he told me he didn't like them, so I got rid of them. 


This time, as I cut off my hair, I felt like I was finally cutting off all of his negative energy. For so long, I thought I could never have bangs again- I thought I would never be able to shake his words off. 


After I broke up with him, we had to break off our lease, because neither of us could afford the apartment alone. I was devastated about losing my apartment- it was beautiful. My best friend's mom has been incredible to me- she took me in after this happened, so I had somewhere to live after I broke off the relationship (it's deeply sad, how many abusive relationships do not get broken off because the victim feels they have nowhere to go...) I was incredibly fortunate. But at the same time, I have really missed having my own space, and a place to decorate as my own. I've been looking at studio apartments recently, and I'm hoping to move in, in the next month or two.  This haircut is not symbolic of the breakup- I already got a haircut for that. This haircut is symbolic of my independence, and my unapologetic need to feel like myself. 


I feel so brand new in this haircut- I feel fun, and beautiful, and like I've chopped off all of the dead weight in my life (and I'm not talking about the hair). 



For those of you who are local, I also wanted to shout out my incredible hair stylist— Javier Juarez. He’s an absolutely incredible stylist at the Kai Hair Salon in North Loop, at 333 Washington Ave N #100.


If you're looking for a stylist, you should give his receptionist a call at 612-208-1330 and set up an appointment with Javier. He didn't ask me to write this, but he's incredibly talented, and deserves all the business in the world. 

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