Welcome to my last blog post of 2017. What a fucking whirlwind this year has been.
As I reflected on this last year of blogging, I was looking through some old photos, and I realized that I ended 2016 with about 700 followers. This year, I am entering 2018 with over 7,000 of you, and I cannot believe that.
Thank you so much for the endless support. This blog has been such a powerful, cathartic release for me- a safe house for my thoughts and emotions. I've been able to share an incredibly raw, and real side of myself with you, and that has been the most rewarding experience. There's something about shedding light on your skeletons, that makes them look so much less frightening. By nature, social media aims to highlight the best, and most beautiful moments of our lives, and we tend to hide away our secrets. This blog has been a genuine reminder that nothing we experience in life, do we experience alone. Every hardship I've shared has resonated with someone. I've received a lot of compliments this year, along the lines of "you are so brave for sharing this", but I promise, more than anything, this is for me. When you open yourself up to the world, it opens itself up to you.
When I started 2017, I truly thought I had things figured out. I was in a long term relationship with someone who I loved, I had just revisited my childhood home in Tokyo, I had a trip to Europe planned out, I was getting ready to move in with the love of my life: I was comfortable. There's something dangerous about becoming too comfortable- you can't grow when you're comfortable. In reality, 2017 flipped my life upside down, because the foundations of my world were cracking. I was in a relationship with someone who would choose alcohol over me, every time. I was masking an eating disorder that I refused to tell anyone about. I hated myself because I thought I deserved all of this.
2018 is going to be better. I am not saying this, because everyone says that the new year is going to be better, I am saying this because 2017 was the year of the cleansing. I refuse to surround myself with toxic people this year; toxicity is poison, and poison will kill you.
2017 was the year that I decided I am enough. I am a whole fucking human being, and I do not need another person to complete me. So the only people I want surrounding me are those who can add something extraordinary.
I'm feeling very emotional right now. Thank you to all of the people in my life who love me unconditionally. Thank you to my readers, who have been so supportive. Thank you to all of my beautiful followers, who have opened up to me after reading a segment of "Let's Get Coffee." Thank you for talking about your own experiences with suicide, eating disorders, break ups, abuse...it's hard. Talking about the things that make us human is the hardest fucking thing in the world, and I love you.
2018 is looking incredibly hopeful for me. I am in an outpatient program for my eating disorder, and I cannot wait to take ahold of that aspect of my life. I left my significant other this year, and I am trading comfort for excitement, and surrounding myself with someone who makes me feel much lighter.
I am so fucking excited to enter this new year with you. If you let me, I want to keep having these conversations. While I am running a fashion blog, I realize that the market is incredibly saturated with fashion bloggers, and there is nothing more genuine I can offer you than my authenticity.
Thank you to all of those who have been here from the start, and those who started reading this year. Your support means more to me than you could ever know. I hope this new year is good to you, I know it's going to be good to me.
Happy New Year.