I am currently sitting on a train, on my way to the small town where I grew up, to spend Thanksgiving with some truly wonderful people. I’ll be sitting here for a couple hours, so I thought I would write a bit about what I’m thankful for this year.
I am thankful for all of my second families. As I’ve mentioned before, my parents live in Japan, so I seldom get to visit them, which can make holidays a really difficult time. I might write a new blog post this year on holiday depression, but right now I’d like to keep things positive. With my parents away, I have become really close to a number of second families, and specifically, second mom’s. And while I recently went through a breakup, my ex boyfriend’s family was also a second family to me, so I am forever grateful to them as well. Thank you to all the families that do, and did treat me like a daughter.
I am thankful for the experiences that shaped me this year. 2017 turned out to be a really hard year. This year, I struggled with a difficult relationship, and an even harder break up, and I’ve been navigating my own brain, trying to figure out what I need. I came to full acceptance of my eating disorder, and forced myself into outpatient treatment. I am so proud of myself for that. I got to visit my best friend in Europe this year! That was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and I’m so grateful for what I got to see.
I am thankful for all of my friends. From the people I see every day, to the ones I see less often, they are all shoulders I can lean on, and people who will listen to my crazy thoughts without judgement.
I am thankful for my family, and their unwavering support. When I needed help moving out, my brother and his friends were there, just like that. When I need someone to talk to, my mom is always on the other line, no matter what time it is (we have a 14-15 hour time difference.) When my life fell like it was caving inward, my dad was the first one to suggest studying in Japan (I’ve decided to stay in Minneapolis after all, but all he wanted was to protect me.)
I am so thankful for the blogger community this year, and every one of you that follows my Instagram, chats with me (regularly or not), and reads my blog. My fashion blog has become one of the highlights of my life, and my greatest passion. I am so thankful to have a platform where I feel comfortable being vulnerable and transparent. One of the great struggles of social media is constantly maintaining that air of perfection, and as most of you have figured out by now, I am a mess. And I’m so glad I feel comfortable talking about it.
I am thankful for all of the faces I’ve sat across in coffee shops this year. I’ve met new faces, gotten reacquainted with old ones, and spent too much time in front of others. It’s a fun ride.
I am thankful for all of the hours I’ve spent alone in coffee shops. I’ve become so comfortable in my own company. Even now, sitting alone, typing away on my laptop while I head towards a home of some sorts, I am so content. So there’s another thing to be thankful for: growth. I’m really exploring what it means to feel comfortable in your own skin. I’m still drinking too much coffee, and I’m still smoking cigarettes when I’m stressed, but that’s okay. I feel good these days. I feel a sense of calm in myself, and an excitement for the future. This year has made me strong.
Thank you for your endless love and support, and for giving me a platform where I feel comfortable writing authentically: that’s all I ever wanted. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates: I am so grateful for all of you.