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Diary of a Twenty Something: 11.14.17.

November 14, 2017

 

This is an excerpt from 03.07.17.

 

 

"I remember heartbreak. I remember forgetting how to breathe.

I remember breaking down and crying in the bathtub. 

I remember messy sex and smoking a lot of cigarettes. 

I remember feeling like no one else would love me.

I remember watching you drive away. 

I remember driving fast, and I hate driving fast.

I remember visiting our old stories, and drawing empty silhouettes where your body once was.

I remember trying to remember the moment you stopped seeing the beauty in me.

I remember the love that I felt on those blurry n i   g h t   s      t h     a  t     I       d  o n    ‘ t.

 

But then, I remembered what I lost.

I remembered what you took from me, and I took it back.

I learned how to breathe for myself again.

I can remember a time when I said that I was yours, but I have taught myself to be mine before I am anyone else’s."

 

 

 

I got the word "mine" tattooed on my wrist when I was 18 to remind myself that I belonged to me. I have decided that the romantic declaration "you belong to me" isn't romantic, it's possessive. I believe in love, not possession, and I will never belong to anyone again. I am mine. 

 

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