This is an excerpt from 03.07.17.
"I remember heartbreak. I remember forgetting how to breathe.
I remember breaking down and crying in the bathtub.
I remember messy sex and smoking a lot of cigarettes.
I remember feeling like no one else would love me.
I remember watching you drive away.
I remember driving fast, and I hate driving fast.
I remember visiting our old stories, and drawing empty silhouettes where your body once was.
I remember trying to remember the moment you stopped seeing the beauty in me.
I remember the love that I felt on those blurry n i g h t s t h a t I d o n ‘ t.
But then, I remembered what I lost.
I remembered what you took from me, and I took it back.
I learned how to breathe for myself again.
I can remember a time when I said that I was yours, but I have taught myself to be mine before I am anyone else’s."
I got the word "mine" tattooed on my wrist when I was 18 to remind myself that I belonged to me. I have decided that the romantic declaration "you belong to me" isn't romantic, it's possessive. I believe in love, not possession, and I will never belong to anyone again. I am mine.